my plans

everyone wants to know what is going on with me and my professional life. i was actually talkin to my tre about it.

my plans were to save money so that i can enroll in george washington university's event management program. complete the program, my praticum hours, and my portfolio. take the exams so i can be an event planner as well as a bridal consultant. pay howard so that i can go back and get a degree in design, just so i could have a bachelors in something [and it pertains to what im going to do]. start my business: elixir events and design.

so i started to work on my scheme. i know exactly how im going to do this GW thing. so i was really working on my HU scheme. you know, classes i need to take and when to take them. as i was looking, i just got really frustrated. why you ask?

bc i have completed a lot of classes at howard. some do pertain to design and meet the requirements for that major. but i think some things are very stupid.

in architecture, when you get a scheme, it pretty much says "take these classes listed. for your electives, pick out of these electives. pass the classes. graduate." makes sense to me. classes all deal with my major, even most of my electives. i do have to take that one african american studies class that all HU students must take, but i made mine blacks in the arts. i have to take pe for 2 semesters of course bc they want to pretend like they keepin us healthy.

what doesnt make sense to me is COAS. the heck is a liberal arts division, and why do i need to take it if it doesnt pertain to my major? im ok with taking speech bc in my job ill have to make presentations and communicate. but i dont see any reason i need freshman seminar. and why is swimming a requirement for graduation? and i surely dont need philosophy, i think too much already.

i feel like if i go back to some traditional school to get a bachelors, im wasting...why is that? bc i have to cut back on work to go back, yet i still have to pay bills plus pay for school. the financial aid i would get would be all government grants and loans [since i dont qualify for any other loans and dont want them anyways...there are outside scholarships that i would have to lose sleep to find & apply, takin away more time lol] which just cover tuition and i have to continue to pay for bills and the rest of school on my own but with less money. then wen its all done, i have to pay the government back for classes that i took that had NOTHING to do with my degree.

also, im just in another mindset. im in a hands on mode. lets go out and do it. live life and work. learn what i need to do my job effectively and then go do it. learn about myself and who i am in God. i dont mind sitting in a classroom setting learning, if im takin notes that i kno i will use later when i actually do it.

plus, the only reason i want to go back and get a degree is bc i feel so much pressure. everyone is asking me when am i going back to school. when will i graduate. what will my major be. will i still go to howard. and tellin me that the only way you will get a  job nowadays is if you have a degree....

yet i just realized the other day that im happy. i like hustling. i like being busy. i like doing several things. i like knowin how to get money no matter what [i definitely like that im past the stage of learning humility and how to seek help, that i no longer have to ask ppl to borrow money]. i like earning money by helping people and making them happy in several different ways. i would be perfectly fine if i didnt have a degree. i would just keep doing what im doing--doing what im asked, doing what i see is needed, doing what i love [and what i dont love too sometimes]

i know what its like to struggle financially, and so most of my life was spent in countless hours worrying and planning and controlling to ensure that that wouldnt happen again. but being a good steward over your money isnt just about making a lot of it and saving it all. for the first time in my life, im comfortable with where i am with money. i have a budget so i dont overspend [im not a big spender anyways]. i make enough to save [which will be depleted when i start at GW, but i know i can build it back up]. im content. yes i would like to make more simply bc i know life throws crazy things at us. and i would like to help my family out, plus save up for my future family.

but the fact is, success isnt about money for me anymore. yes i want to have enough money to pay for my and my family's needs. but more and more im not stressing about it bc when im obedient to God and not worrying, i find that it all works out. success, for me, is fulfilling the purposes for which God created me, called me to do. and im discovering more and more everyday what that is.

well, what do i want tho, for my future?

i want to plan events and programs [weddings, conferences, seminars, conventions, parties, concerts, forums, shows, etc.]. design stuff that makes ppl happy. give ppl their visions that they couldnt accomplish alone and make it reality. make my visions come to life. have people smile. help ppl to look good and feel good about themselves. raise my family as God ordains. serve my husband. run around and do stuff for my church, ANQ, beacon, and my community. DANCE. and most importantly, i want to serve God and know i have done my best to surrender to Him and His will.

best of all, i know God has given me talents. gifts. personality traits. experiences. and people. and the most important question is, what does HE want for my future, why did He gift me with these things?

so, even tho ppl give me concerned, bewildered, even pained looks and talk to me in gentle and/or stern tones, i will continue to look for the answer to that question, and that question only. right now, i know going to GW is in my future. getting a bachelors degree is something i am still praying about, simply bc its so many feelings tied up in that my confusion makes it hard to hear God clearly. i havent gotten any confirmation one way or another.


so until i do, im just going to continue to do the things i know He has for me to do right now. and He'll show me the rest as long as i listen and obey.