[whew, twice in one day! i hope im not getting hooked to this.]
i noticed that these entries seem a little sad to me. i want everyone to know that this isnt a sad blog. its deanna's blog to release her extra thoughts.
i know some people thought, when they heard i was doing a blog, that it would be just great! it would be crazy. ditzy. silly. inspirational. uplifting. something like they imagine me to be.
fact is, i think sad thoughts a lot more than i let on. sad, angry, upset, pissed off, irritated, annoyed, defeated thoughts come across my mind more than i let be seen.
[usually. lately tho, they havent been able to stay in. probably because i keep my feelings that i deem "bad" bottled up. bc i dont need to feel sorry for myself or i need to man up. but i guess the bottle has a limit. and i have reached it. because now when i get feelings, they just spill over the lid. i try to keep them contained so they spew out only to things. but occasionally they spill out toward people, warranted or unwarranted (meaning if you deserved it or not). thats why i put them in the bottle in the first place! my plan has backfired!]
it seems that i release all the positive feelings and such and share them with everyone, but keep the "bad" ones inside so they only bother me. this blog is merely an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, ideas. and well, right now, the extra stuff happens to be kinda sad for a lot of reasons.
i want to be funny, inspirational, informative, uplifting. i want people to glean from my teachings. i want to fill peoples spirits with my overflow from my anointing. i want to be a light.
but for right now, this is what you get.
btw, my record is still 2. and 1/2. for today. hey, at least im not going backward! but my road dog did email me this quote that made my night when i finally got home:
It’s said that when Spanish composer-cellist Pablo Casals was in the final years of his life, a young reporter asked him, “Mr. Casals, you are ninety-five years old and the greatest cellist that ever lived. Why do you still practice six hours a day?” What was Casals answer? “Because I think I’m making progress.” That’s the kind of dedication to continual growth that you should have. The people who reach their potential think in terms of improvement.
it made me realize, this journey is not over and as long as im progressing, i just get greater. thanks.
LATER NOTE: so i just cried again. . .sigh. maybe its close enough to tomorrow to count that for tomorrow hmmm?
I think that it's great that you get to let your feelings out finally. That's the same thing with me. People always come to me for advice and expect me to have the answers, that when I'm struggling there's no one for me to go to for fear of letting them down when it comes to their expectations of me.
ReplyDeleteThis is great way for us to see a well-rounded you. Afterall, God may put something on our hearts to benefit you, and vice versa. Your struggles can be someone else's struggles, and it just let's us know that we aren't alone.
Keep up the good work sis.
(Dove Love)
I wish I could just like your posts instead of commenting...lol but there is no button for that. So I'll just post a L when I like something and I have no comment. But I am there. Sigh! I love you Dee!
ReplyDelete