contentment

ive been sharing the fruits of the Spirit ive been meditating on, the disciplines im studying. so far ive talked about joy a lot. i think ive mentioned peace. and im going to write something about patience soon. ive also talked about humility and submission, and i have plans to share my thoughts about study as well. ive also talked about trust and healing and listening and growing, which arent in either of those categories. ive talked about a lot more...

my point is, ive posted things about what ive been learning on my journey of life.

but the main thing that i wish to learn on this journey is contentment.

most of my life i havent been content. ive always yearned for more, wished things were different. which isnt bad in and of itself. its good to push yourself for better things, to look forward to the future. but its also not healthy to never like where you are in life.

and ive never much liked the hand ive been dealt in life.

im trying to grow. im seeking God a lot about this because someone near to me mentioned it about me, that im not grateful for what i do have. and a lot of my problems, or what i see as problems, is because of that.

my deepest desire is to be content no matter my circumstances. i want to be joyful at all times bc i recognize that i have God. i want God to fill me up so that i can see nothing but Him and be satisfied, no matter what is happening in my life.

listen to this, because it sums up what i feel and what i wanna say:

Every person who longs to be married knows that sinking feeling when yet another friend becomes engaged. Every childless couple feels a stab of grief when yet another pregnancy is announced. Every sick person who has prayed for healing feels the confusion when hearing another’s miraculous testimony of being healed. Why them and not me, God? we whisper inside, as we put on our smiles and hide our sadness. The apostle Paul tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15), but when others get what we’ve been denied it can feel like something in us has died.

“I have learned how to be content with whatever I have,” Paul said (Philippians 4:11). In this case, he was talking about food and finances, but we can read his sentiment more broadly. Paul was single, he’d been denied healing, and had often lacked safety, shelter, and sleep. Yet he could say his weaknesses were his strength (2 Corinthians 12:10). How?

Paul revealed his secret to the Philippians: “I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). He faced sickness, singleness, loneliness, and sleeplessness by drawing all he needed from Jesus who dwelt within him. The most contented people I know have discovered this secret for themselves: their enjoyment of God overshadows any loss they’ve known.

May our empty spaces be filled with Jesus today.

[sidenote: here is a complete list of what ive been using for the:

fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, long-suffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

Christian disciplines: humility, submission, study, simplicity, sacrifice, fasting, chastity, secrecy (intimacy between you and God alone, not bad secrets lol), solitude, silence, meditation, prayer, service, fellowship, confession, worship, celebration]